How Do You Solve A Problem like Stevie?

December 29, 2009

Steve Gerrard (this photo is the property of

A few years ago, I found myself watching an episode of MTV Cribs, The Footballers Edition. For those of you who aren’t aware of MTV Cribs, let me elaborate. It’s a TV show where celebrities show you around their homes and basically show off their possessions, it’s very much like chav property porn. The reason I’m talking about MTV Cribs is because Steve Gerrard was on it (Jlloyd Samuel was also on that particular episode, apparently he’d persuaded a producer that he was actually a footballer)

Mr Gerrard showed us around his suitably palatial home and it was fairly standard, big screen TVs, flash cars and a rather lovely fridge in his kitchen. However, Gerrard then took us into his trophy room and a miracle happened I actually felt a bit sorry for him.

WHAT!! Sorry for Gerrard? How? Well, I’ll tell you. In Gerrards’ trophy room were two empty cabinets which took pride of place right at the end of the room. When asked about them, Gerrard replied that they were for the only trophies he hadn’t won yet, The World Cup and The Premiership. And that they would remain empty until he had won them. And then I think I might have caught something in his eye, a look of regret. Maybe it was the regret that he hadn’t moved to Chelsea when he had the chance, maybe it was the realisation that he wouldn’t win the baubles he so desperately craves at his current employers.

Let’s be honest, Gerrard isn’t going to win the World Cup and he isn’t going to win the Premiership with Liverpool. Liverpool, quite frankly, aren’t good enough, aren’t rich enough and aren’t big enough. Gerrard finds himself in exactly the same position that Matt Le Tissier found himself in at Southampton a few years ago, without a doubt the best player at his club, but lacking either the ambition or the courage to move to a better team.

Gerrard is arguably one of the best players in the game, but as long as he pulls on the red of Liverpool, he’ll remain somewhat unfulfilled.

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